HDYGH Episode 10 Show Notes

In today’s episode, I sit down with one of my good friends, Ryan Ayala. Ryan and I used to work together at Saint Mary’s Catholic High School in Phoenix, where he is the school’s campus minister. I ask him, “How Did You Get Here?”

That’s not Diego standing next to me. That’s this week’s guest, Ryan Ayala!

Zélie is a lovely name for a daughter (or a mother).

Zélie Martin 1
The mother of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, Marie-Azélie “Zélie” Guérin Martin

Shows I Mentioned (Don’t Judge)

  • The Tiger King – Watching this is like watching a car accident on the freeway, but the freeway is a circus-themed gay rodeo with big cats and meth-heads and the highway patrol work has been outsourced to disgruntled Wal-Mart employees who are missing any number of teeth and/or limbs.
  • McMillions – An incredibly compelling documentary series about the McDonald’s Monopoly scandal. Who knew McDonald’s was so bingeable? (<—a joke?)

Visual Confirmation that I Talk too Much

“Talking to Rob is a lot like listening…” — Cory W.

Unsolicited Domestic Advice

Always assume your spouse has had a worse day than you did.

–Attributed to Ryan Ayala’s hero/mentor, Rob Drapeau

Pius XI. Imagine being as cool as Ryan, who was reading something this guy wrote “just the other day.” Millennials, amirite?

Pope Meme: Hit or Miss?

  • Pat Metheny “Two Folk Songs” – My college roommates (and Pat Metheny) persuaded me of this song’s excellence.

The Usual Links:

Special Thanks:

  • To Ryan Ayala for coming on the show.
  • To Zoom for existing (and making this episode possible / passable).
  • To BPD for producing the show.

HDYGH – Episode 9 Show Notes

In today’s episode, I sit down (virtually)  with one of my all-time favorite singers and storytellers, Michael John Poirier. Michael is a dear, old friend and fellow paterfamilias. I ask him, “How Did You Get Here?”

Singer, Songwriter, Storyteller, and Sixty-year-old Husband, Father, and Catholic Evangelist, Michael John Poirier

Pachabel Rant

Want to Learn about the Men’s work Michael was Talking About?

Click here.

Michael’s Podcast

Michael’s Website: Prayer Breaks

  • All of his music is amazing–and FREE!
    • Homeschooling little ones? Check out his Storyteller CD.
    • My favorite album is Ocean of Mercy.
    • This one is for you guys who want to draw near to God, but don’t know why or how. You know who you are…

Special Thanks:

  • To Michael John Poirier for coming on the show.
  • To Zoom for existing (and making this episode possible / passable).
  • To BPD for producing the show.

HDYGH – Episode 8 Show Notes

In today’s episode, I sit down with Cindy Montanarella, another fellow St. Thomas parishioner and former student from the Kino Catechetical Institute. Cindy is also the sister of one of my oldest friends (and an old friend in her own right). I ask her, “How Did You Get Here?”

Cindy “Cinderella” Montanarella

Note: some links lead to my Amazon affiliate page, which has generated precisely zero dollars in the 10+ years I’ve had it.

Ss. Ambrose, Monica, and Augustine

“Speak less to Augustine about God and more to God about Augustine.”

St. Ambrose to St. Monica

Leila Miller’s books on divorce:

Psalm 131

1 O Lord, my heart is not lifted up,
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
2 But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a child quieted at its mother’s breast;
like a child that is quieted is my soul.
3 O Israel, hope in the Lord
from this time forth and for evermore.

King David

Special Thanks:

  • To Cindy Montanarella for overcoming her shyness and coming on the show.
  • To Zoom for existing (and making this episode possible).
  • To BPD for producing the show.

HDYGH – Episode 7 Show Notes

In today’s episode, I sit down with Mark Rothermel, a friend, fellow St. Thomas parishioner, and former student from the Kino Catechetical Institute and ask him, “How Did You Get Here?”

Mark Rothermel, ex-donuteer, grammar descriptivist, man for all seasons.

Note: some links lead to my Amazon affiliate page, which has generated precisely zero dollars in the 10+ years I’ve had it.

Avocado Green Bathroom

Avocado Green Bathroom | That Mitchell and Webb Look

On the Revival of the Gaelic Language (not Welsh)

The Gaelic Language | David Mitchell’s SoapBox


Hoodwinked: Twitchy Slowed Down (2005)
  • Hoodwinked! is a great family movie that spoofs Akira Kurowsawa’s classic film Rashomon. It is well worth a watch.

Shakespeare and the Bible

King Richard
“A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!”

Withdraw, my lord; I’ll help you to a horse.

King Richard
Slave! I have set my life upon a cast,
And I will stand the hazard of the die.
I think there be six Richmonds in the field;
Dive have I Slain today instead of him.
A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!

Richard III, Act-V, Scene-IV, Lines 7-13

17 An horse is a vain thing for safety: neither shall he deliver any by his great strength.

Psalm 33:17 King James Version (KJV)

Grammar Goofiness

Grammar Nazi
The grammar meme I murdered.
  • Here is a great resource for anyone wanting to learn the lost art of diagramming sentences.
  • My favorite book on the subject of diagramming is Rex Barks.

World War II Clips

RAF Pilots
Bridge on the River Kwai

St. Ignatius Loyola: Enter his door, come out yours.

Whenever we wish to win someone over and engage him in the greater service of God our Lord, we should use the same strategy for good that the enemy employs to draw a good soul to evil. The enemy enters through the other’s door and comes out his own. He enters with the other, not by opposing his ways but by praising them. He acts familiarly with the soul, suggesting good and holy thoughts that bring peace to the good soul. Then, little by little, he tries to come out his own door, always portraying some error or illusion under the appearance of something good, but which will always be evil. So, we may lead others to good by praying or agreeing with them on a certain good point, leaving aside whatever else may be wrong. Thus after gaining his confidence, we shall meet with better success. In this sense we enter his door with him, but we come out our own.

Letter of St. Ignatius Loyola to Fathers Broët and Salmerón

Special Thanks:

To Mark Rothermel for being a fascinating guest.

To BPD for producing the show.

To my very generous in-laws for the use of their home once again.

The Last Word

Matthew 12:36 Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (RSVCE)

36 I tell you, on the day of judgment men will render account for every careless word they utter;

HDYGH – Episode 6 Show Notes

In today’s episode, I sit down with Maria Gilicinski, someone I’ve never met before, but who comes highly recommended by my producer, who is also her former thesis advisor at Thomas Aquinas College. Maria is currently an Assistant 5th  Grade Teacher at Archway Veritas Academy, mere feet from my home. I ask her, “How Did You Get Here?”

Episode 6 Guest Maria Gilicinski
Maria and her roommate joined us for rice and beans, tostones (fried plantains), pork chops, calabasitas, and Puerto Rican coleslaw. They loved it. It could’ve been you…

Note: some links lead to my Amazon affiliate page, which has generated precisely zero dollars in the 10+ years I’ve had it.

Note 2: My old college roommate says, “Talking to Rob is a lot like listening.” In this episode, I once again prove him right.

13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near in the blood of Christ. 14 For he is our peace, who has made us both one, and has broken down the dividing wall  of hostility,

Ephesians 2:13-14 Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (RSVCE)

17 But Sis′era fled away on foot to the tent of Ja′el, the wife of Heber the Ken′ite; for there was peace between Jabin the king of Hazor and the house of Heber the Ken′ite. 18 And Ja′el came out to meet Sis′era, and said to him, “Turn aside, my lord, turn aside to me; have no fear.” So he turned aside to her into the tent, and she covered him with a rug. 19 And he said to her, “Pray, give me a little water to drink; for I am thirsty.” So she opened a skin of milk and gave him a drink and covered him. 20 And he said to her, “Stand at the door of the tent, and if any man comes and asks you, ‘Is any one here?’ say, No.” 21 But Ja′el the wife of Heber took a tent peg, and took a hammer in her hand, and went softly to him and drove the peg into his temple, till it went down into the ground, as he was lying fast asleep from weariness. So he died.

Judges 4:17-21 Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (RSVCE)
  • Don’t forget to pray for Jake (Episode 3) and his fiance (also Maria) who are getting married on Saturday, March 14, 2020!

  • RCIA at St. Thomas the Apostle: http://staphx.org/becomingcatholic
  • Pray for Us!

Special Thanks

To BPD for producing the show and procuring our guest.

To Maria’s roommate Kathryn, for almost keeping the dog from barking.

To my very generous in-laws for the use of their home.

Cut for Time

The Cave. Watch to remember that humanity is fallen and unbelievably noble at the same time. If this story doesn’t move you to empathy, you’re probably one of those lizard people. The movie is gut-wrenching and free on Hulu.com.
Summary from Amazon:
The Cave paints a stirring portrait of courage, resilience and female solidarity inside a subterranean hospital in Syria run by a young, female pediatrician.

The Last Word

8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Philippians 4:8 Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (RSVCE)

HDYGH Episode 5 Show Notes

In today’s episode, I sit down with Simone Rizkallah, Catholic writer, speaker, and feminine genius and ask her, “How did you get here?” Simone is the Director of Program Growth for Endow, an apostolate that unites the Catholic intellectual tradition with intentional community by creating study guides and organizing women into small groups. Apostolate is a $10 Catholic word for “lay ministry.” 

Ms. Riz

Lots of notes this week. N.B.: some links lead to my Amazon affiliate page, which has generated precisely zero dollars in the 10+ years I’ve had it.

Lord, teach me to seek you, and reveal yourself to me when I seek you. For I cannot seek you unless you first teach me, nor find you unless you first reveal yourself to me. Let me seek you in longing and long for you in seeking. Let me find you in love, and love you in finding. Amen.

Saint Ambrose
  • More about Saint Ambrose and the Emperor Theodosius. Here is the picture of Saint Ambrose and Theodosius that my college roommate gave me.
  • The Internet remains tight-lipped about the origin of the “even the Catholics are Protestant” quote. If you know, let us know.
  • Info about The Fellowship and the National Prayer Breakfast. The Netflix hit piece is called The Family. It’s garbage; I don’t know why I even mentioned it. Here is an interesting read about the movement behind The Fellowship from a Catholic perspective.
  • More on Communion & Liberation, the group that Simone mentioned.
  • More on the Charismatic Renewal in the Catholic Church.
  • Archbishop Fulton Sheen’s quote on shepherds is from his book The Priest Is Not His Own can be found here and bought here.

The shepherd’s primary duty is to search out the lost sheep and stay with it once found.

Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen
  • Pray for Amanda Bynes and all the other entertainers we forget are humans like the rest of us slobs.
  • Leave us a message here.
  • Ora pro nobis!

Special Thanks

To BPD for producing the show.

To Jon Cline and Andrew Mayer who tried to salvage the audio from my estupidez.

To Simone for being our First Lady!

-34- Crooked Lines

My father wanted to retire young and rich. He almost made it.

When Dad was 37 years old, he decided not to re-enlist in the Air Force after 20 years of service because doing so would have meant moving to Panama and being away from home for three weeks of the month. Instead, he chose to leave the military in the middle of the Reagan recession and try his hand at civilian life.

Through contacts he’d made in the service, he persuaded someone at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs to create a position for him as a civilian contractor. Everything was in place for him to start at the Academy as soon as he retired from the service. The only thing left for him to do was sign the contract and seal the deal.

This was before fax machines were commonplace, so Dad arranged to drive out to Colorado from California and sign the papers in person. He loved road trips and the Rocky Mountains, and didn’t think twice about heading for the hills in the family’s Ford Fairmont station wagon. I can picture him cruising through the columbines, singing songs of praise at the top of his lungs like one of the carolers in A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Little did he know that in the midst of his revelry, Congress was passing a law requiring military retirees to wait six months before returning as civilian contractors. When he arrived at the Academy, it was to the sad news that he no longer had a job offer and none would be forthcoming. He had done such a good job convincing them of the need to hire him, that they couldn’t leave the position unfilled for the six months to pass before he became eligible for employment again.

So, instead of moving to cool and colorful Colorado Springs, Colorado, my mom, twin sister, and I moved into a dusty, old double-wide with Dad’s parents–my Memere and Pepere–on Patricia Ann Lane in Peoria, Arizona, where we waited for two months for Dad to join us.

Living in a double-wide trailer is exactly as glamorous as it sounds. My “room” was a twin bed hidden behind the bookshelf that separated the formal dining area from the penetralia of my grandparents’ home where Memere kept her extensive collection of seasonal decorations and back issues of Reader’s Digest. My sister’s room was real–girls need their privacy, after all–but not much bigger than a closet. We took baths (not showers) in an avocado green bathtub and used an old Cool Whip container to rinse our hair.

Our quarters were cramped, but my sister and I were blissfully unaware of the life we might have been living in the shadow of Pikes Peak. We thought it was normal to sit on beach towels on (plastic-covered) car seats as Memere drove us to school and normal to pull over multiple times on the way home to pick up aluminum cans when Pepere drove us back. We loved that we got Nilla wafers and a bowl of ice cream every day as a treat when we got home. (Pepere was an ex-dairyman and had his priorities straight.)

As far as we knew, life was going according to plan, but knowing what I know now about in-laws and domesticity, I suspect my mother did not share our conviction. It’s hard to believe that Peoria, AZ was what she had in mind when she abandoned her island paradise of Puerto Rico for a blue-eyed gringo. For her, our circumstances were less than ideal. I’m sure my father felt at least a little like a failure when he couldn’t find work as a hospital administrator (his line of work in the Air Force) and went to work instead as a janitor at the VA.

As children we think, the expression “the Lord works in mysterious ways” is just one of those grown up things people say when they don’t know what’s going on. As adolescents, we’re quick to dismiss it as a cliche, but, after 40 or so circuits around the sun, you come to regard it as a fact as plain as plantains.

God draws straight with crooked lines. He just does. When you’re in the thick of things, you don’t always think God’s got the best grip on the situation, but when you look back on all the times that He zigged when you would have zagged, you’ll see that He knew what He was up to.

Times were trying for my parents in that trailer, but in retrospect, it’s clear that they were good. If it weren’t for those tough times, my dad wouldn’t have learned how to walk by faith and not by sight. My mom might never have been inspired by his example to come into the Catholic Church. My sister and I might not have come to love the Lord at a young age.

If fax machines were more widespread in the ’80s, I might not have gone to grade school and high school in Arizona, and I wouldn’t have gone to college in Arizona. I would never have met my wife. Or my children. And where would all the stories of God’s miraculous intervention in our family’s life that I pass on to my children have come from?

It turns out my sister and I were right after all–life had been going according to plan, just not ours. I am so grateful that my dad didn’t get that job at the Air Force Academy. Every good thing in my life is the result of that one seemingly bad thing that brought us where we didn’t want to go.

-33- I’ve Started a Podcast

If a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.

G. K. Chesterton

I’ve started a podcast called, How Did You Get Here? I think it’s worth doing badly. After listening to the first episode, I’m very proud of the production value that my bosom chum Beepy D. Silverose brought to it. You almost can’t tell we’re making it up as we go along. I’m also impressed with my first guest Yancy Evans’ mellifluous baritone. But I’m terrified that my friend Patrick will make up a drinking game based on how often I mumble / say “um” and destroy his already well-worn liver. Please, please, please, People: take to heart Nancy Reagan’s admonition, “Friends don’t let friends make drinking games based on Rob Drapeau’s speech patterns.” (I can’t find the exact citation, but she definitely said that. Really.)

So, what motivated me to do this now? I’m glad you asked.

For years now, I’ve worked with the RCIA program at my parish, helping loads of lovely people come into full communion with the Church. Their stories are always inspiring and I frequently get things in my eyes hearing them (I’m not crying. YOU’RE crying!). Anyway, it occurred to me that many of the people in the pews on Sunday have grown up taking the Faith for granted, in much the same way people born American citizens take our country for granted.

When I’m doing the intake interviews for RCIA, I always start with the same question: How Did You Get Here? Hence, the title of the podcast. I know why I need Jesus–as my former boss Scott Whitfield was fond of reminding me, I’m the worst sinner I know–but I’m always curious to learn why the articulate / well-dressed / financially-solvent / physically fit / insanely talented person sitting in front of me thinks they need Jesus. From my perspective, they’ve got their poop in a group, so how did they get here? Attractive women and strapping men don’t have problems, right?


They’ve got the same holes in their souls as the rest of us. And it is always moving to hear someone tell you that they’ve fallen in love with your True Love and want to surrender themselves to Him. Their humility is humbling and their ardent desire for what I too frequently treat with casual indifference increases my own ardor.

I’m such a narcissist that I vacillate between thinking too highly or too little of myself. But when I’m listening to these stories of people responding to their Father’s call, I am reminded that, whatever I may think of myself, I am blessed and privileged to play some role in these stories. God knows exactly who we are and wants to draw near anyway. That’s good news. To paraphrase the Graham Kendrick song, “he paid what he thought we were worth.” Domine non sum dignus.

I am starting this podcast because I think other cradle Catholics will benefit from hearing these stories as well. It also occurred to me that the people entering the Church might want to know why we cradle Catholics stick around, so you can expect to hear from some natives as well.

I’ve grown weary of the division and discord I come across on social media. There might be a ton of things to be legitimately outraged about, but all the shouting hurts my ears. I love Jesus. I love His Church. I love everybody. I have heard good news and I want to pass it on.

Catholics are notoriously bad at sharing their faith, but it’s not brain surgery. As the Psalmist says, “Let the redeemed of the Lord say so!” (Psalm 107:2) Tell your story. Don’t be assive-aggressive. Easy. People love stories, especially love stories and stories with lots of twists. It’s my hope that this podcast will be a platform for sharing the stories of how God draws straight with crooked lines.

Please subscribe and spread the word, etc., but most importantly, please pray that God will bless this humble project. And, for Patrick’s liver’s sake, please pray that I get better about the “um’s” and “ah’s.”


-32- “Star Wars or Star Trek? This is Important…”

Two Kinds of People

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don’t. I recently applied for a position at a marketing firm run by (it would seem) the first kind of people.* Their application included (and required a response to) this question: “Star Wars or Star Trek?” In case it wasn’t clear, they added, “This is important.”

Hells yeah, it’s important. Who wants to work with a bunch of weirdos who don’t give the correct response to that question, amirite? Especially when everyone knows it’s Star Wars. Trek. Wars. Wrecks. Bucks. Star Trek Wars. Star Tech Wreck Wars. Star (grumble, cough, hrramph! cough, mumble, mumble).


When did this become a hard question to answer? It’s Star Wars, right? I mean, c’mon: light sabers.

The Case for Star Wars:

  • Light sabers (see above). And, you know, the fact that Han floors it when the Millennium Falcon enters an asteroid field.

The Case for Star Trek:

The Case against Star Wars:

  • George Lucas.
  • Jar-jar Binks, but not the actor who played him. It’s not his fault. (See previous.)
  • The -equels. Ugh.

The Case against Star Trek:

  • Tribbles
  • Sub-space anomalies. (Thanks, Gene, for a future with no interpersonal conflict…)
  • “Set phasers to ‘stun.'”
  • “Move ahead, one quarter impulse power.”

A Third Kind

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don’t. . .and then there is a third kind of person who talks about “third ways.”

The Case Against Star Wars and Star Trek:


If you don’t know, Firefly, you should. It’s a fantastic little Joss Whedon show that aired on the Fox network from 2002 to 2003. It was wonderful in every way, so naturally, Fox cancelled it before it could get an audience.

Firefly has been described as “Han Solo meets the United Federation of Planets.” That’s just about as perfect a description as you could come up with. Give it a try. It’s shiny.

*Alas, they are also the kind of people who don’t hire Rob Drapeaus. 🙁

-31- Lessen

Growing Lighter

For the sake of keeping up momentum (and to reward Regina and Hans–howdy, y’all!), I’m posting something today even though it’s almost ten years old.

I mentioned this song in my previous post as an example of a poetic algorithm that I have been following to create poems and songs for a collection called “Paronomasia” that I hope to finish and publish some day. My poems “Cede” and “Block” are other works in the collection and, if you bother to follow the links, you’ll see that they are nothing at all like this song or this song. The only thing the pieces have in common are that they all meet the requirements I set for my algorithm: choose a one word title with more than one meaning and refer to the secondary meaning in the first line.

This particular song was inspired by a sign I saw on the side of the road on my way to work one day. It read, “Piano Lessens.” The person who placed the sign was no doubt trying to make a little money in the gig economy, but, being the remorseless grammar nazi that I am, I immediately shifted into attack mode, shrieking, “Vhat does ze piano lessen, dummkopf? Ze length auf ze mortgage? Ze weltschmerz? Vhat? Vhere in ze vorld is your direct object, you linguistic untermensch?!?”

I eventually got over it, but I had to write this song to do so. Anyway, I’m grateful for the dummkopf who put the sign out. Without him, this song wouldn’t exist. I’m also quite pleased with paronomasia in this song. It shouldn’t be too hard to catch the allusions (<–another word derived from the Latin word lūdere!) to John the Baptist.

I have made an exceedingly excrementitious recording of this song, but I’m loath to put it out for public consumption. If you’re desperate to hear me abuse the bass strings on my guitar and almost hit the high notes / remember all the lyrics of my own song, let me know and we can figure something out…


by Rob Drapeau

Verse 1:
I have learned to let Love lead me
Though I did not want to go
Down the path that it had chosen as my road.
But surrendering has freed me
And I’ve found no better way
to go, on my own.

Refrain 1:
And I must decrease
Like the sun in the winter sky
giving way to the lengthening night
‘cause the dawn is stronger
when the night is longer,
And I
am consumed by the love I know
Like a candle burning low.
As the flame gets brighter
I’m growing lighter, oh.
Verse 2:
For a time, I was so certain
Of my wisdom. In my eyes,
I could see no need for guidance. Oh, the pride!
But my wisdom left me hurting.
Tell me: what did I really know
Of the way to go?
Refrain 1, then Bridge
And I will rise.
I will soar the skies.
I lift my eyes
And see it’s You, it’s You, it’s You…
Refrain 2:
Who must increase
Like the sun in the summer sky,
Setting shadows all to flight
‘cause the Light is stronger
and the night no longer.
And I
am consumed by the Love I know.
Like a candle burning low,
As the flame gets brighter,
I’m growing lighter, oh.
I’m growing lighter, oh.